Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
this hospital has no fireball
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
Randomize
