I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
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