im drinking this country out of the recession.
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
I want you to know. From the bottom of my heart, that you are a great friend, a beautiful person, and one of my favorite people in this world. But if you ever send me that many messages again at 4am I swear to God, I will push you in from of a fast running rhino
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
