Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
Randomize
