If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
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