He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
I enjoy the company of your penis
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
Randomize
