She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
Randomize
