I can't breathe out the right side of my face
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
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