I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
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