Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
Randomize
