would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
We're too hungover to prance.
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
Randomize
