i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
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