dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
I feel like death gave me a hand job
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
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