You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
I woke up with dick mouth, a raw vagina, an empty bottle of vodka and the best man next to me. I also found my thong by the pool. Best.Wedding.Ever.
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize