guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
