Awkward medical moment of the day: A very obese girl with a disorder that literally makes her hit herself punched herself in the face. Literally. While screaming 'MCDONALDS MONEY'. Right. Beside. Me.
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
Randomize
