woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
Randomize
