Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
no you cant smoke seaweed
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
Randomize
