I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
check it out our google latitudes are spooning
I left my keys in the garlic bread freezer in Publix.
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
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