he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
Grow some girl-balls and come out already
were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
Randomize
