Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
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