we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
Randomize
