either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
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