I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
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