are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
tell me about the eggs
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
