you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
Comedy Central is in dire need of more sitable faces late at night - Trevor Noah has a baby face - there are federal rules against those types of sexual fantasies
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
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