ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
Do you still have your period?
So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
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