Is it normal to miss your booty call?
now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
Hungover/still slightly drunk at work. Opened a bag of cheese with a box cutter. Pretty sure I need stitches.
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Randomize