how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
If I don't wake up snuggled up to 14 ice cream sandwiches, my life is incomplete.
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize
