He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
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The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
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