the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
Randomize
