Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
Randomize
