Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
Randomize
