Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
Randomize
