I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
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