I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
Randomize