All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
the gays at disneyland are vicious
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
In other news, just had to pluck an ingrown pub with the pliers from my multi tool while sitting on the toilet at work.
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
Randomize
