You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
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