STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
Randomize
