I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
Randomize
