Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
I am unfriending an ex-one night stand because his profile picture is of his wife's ultrasound.
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
Randomize
