no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
Realized I'm still to drunk to comprehend work emails. Marked them all as unread. Here's to responsible hang overs.
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
There's a Russian superstition that you'll spend your year the way you celebrate New Year's, so I'm honestly not that surprised you're drunk.
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Randomize
