i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
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