she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
You’re a genius! I just walked in, shut the door, blew him and left. He could barely move afterwards and was a hot mess at the presentation. He already sent me a calendar invite for another meeting
Randomize
