I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Randomize
