Turn sideways at McDonald's = actual directions to a winery
I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Randomize
