I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
It's rum buckets o'clock
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
Randomize
