We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
I queefed so loud it echoed.
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
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