Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
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