Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
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