ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
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