Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
Randomize