no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
Randomize
