I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
Randomize