walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
Randomize