I wannas sexs uuuuu
i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
if i get the "i'm engaged" text one more time, i'm going to shoot myself in the face so my cats won't eat it when i die alone.
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
Randomize
