We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
Randomize
