Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize