I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
Randomize
